What I wish I knew before having a baby is something that all moms might reflect on at some point in their motherhood expedition. Take a glance at the advice that these other moms are giving, so you can be sure to think about these aspects as you prepare for your own motherhood experience!
Becoming a new mom brings a whirlwind of emotions, experiences, changes, challenges, and learning. You go from being your own person to then creating and caring for a tiny little human. There’s so much you have to adapt to, some basically overnight, others years into your journey. Like the exploration of possibly breastfeeding, leveling your fluctuating hormonal levels, acclimating to an unreliable sleep schedule, identifying and developing your new identity, coping with baby blues or postpartum depression, addressing body issues, adapting to your (old, but new) relationship with your partner as parenthood takes priority, and more!
Whew! It is overwhelming!
Typically, before someone gets pregnant or gives birth, it is common for there to be an immense amount of preparation, research, questions, you know, the whole 9 yards!
And honestly, no matter how much you prepare or think you know, there will always be something that you still wish that you did differently or wish you knew before having a baby.
But, in order to hopefully lessen the list of things you wish you knew about, and to ideally prepare you for your new life ahead, I have asked a group of mothers to give some insight and experiences of their own.
This post is all about what I wish I knew before having a baby.
WHAT I WISH I KNEW BEFORE HAVING A BABY
“It’s impossible to understand how wonderful and how hard it will be. On a lighter side- any knowledge and experience will be helpful. Even having a mentor or 2. Often we want to do things on our own and aren’t open to advice. Of course there’s all the care of that precious little human, but also get ideas on how to manage sleep deprivation, juggling work, relationships that will suffer, etc. But the flip side of that- trust your mom instincts!” –Vicki
“I wish I knew everything didn’t have to be perfect (my house, what I thought was the perfect mom, the perfect schedule for kids, etc) and lived more in the moment and really enjoy the mess, the changing schedules as they hit growth spurt, and milestones, the constant change that kids throw at you, etc. Life is too short and kids grow up way too fast and I wish I would’ve worried less about the unimportant things in life.” –Leslie
“I honestly don’t know… As far as care goes I feel like I knew most already and anything that came up I just knew what to do or called my mom to double check. I also wasn’t really worried about the transition part or adjustment. So I guess the first big thing I tell people is the constant worry forever and ever. Is my kid okay? Are they safe? Happy? Do they feel loved and accepted? Etc! That’ll never go away. Like they could be 50 and I’ll still worry about them.” –Lindsay
“I wish I had created better time management skills before having kids. It’s easy to get very overwhelmed by the list of things to be done in my day and it’s hard for me to find a balance between cleaning/doing tasks and being present with my kids.” –Whitney
“I think for me, I wish I knew how hard breastfeeding can be in the beginning.” –Sarah
“Oh man, I wish I knew a lot of things… I wish I knew how fast the time would go. I wish I knew it was okay to ask for help and not do everything by myself. I wish I knew that taking a little time for myself didn’t mean that I was being a bad or neglectful mom. There are many other things, but those are a few of my thoughts.” –Shan
“I married so young, I’m not sure I thought about anything, except that I wanted a baby. In hindsight, I’m glad I started so young, because I lost my husband, but sometimes I regret that we didn’t take time to be a married couple longer. So I wish I knew that it’s ok to wait, especially being 18.” –Cindee
“Educate yourself, then rely on mothers intuition.” –Wendy
“I was the oldest of 5 in my family so I tended my sisters a lot, and other children. I wish I knew how tired and worried I would be with having children. And I wish I could have been more easy going about it and enjoyed life with them more. Luckily I had family close and had some great neighbors, so that helped to have support, and fun together. It would have been better to know that it was ok to leave my babies with other people too for a short time, they would have been just fine.” –Amy
“At my age, I wish I had known how awesome it would be to have grandkids! I have loved being a grandma, but didn’t think about that at all when I was in my 20’s. Also, I loved my babies and children at all ages, I just wished I hadn’t worried so much about everything.” –Katherine
“I wish I knew how expensive babies are. Haha! That pregnancy symptoms don’t just mean morning sickness (extreme fatigue, moodiness, etc.). There are some days where it’s okay to just relax and enjoy being pregnant. It’s a unique experience!” –Savannah
“I wish I knew to really explore all the different options for birthing plans and to do it the way I really wanted. I also wish I knew how common miscarriages are.” –Kanani
“I wish I knew how to be better prepared for postpartum recovery and possible depression and hormonal swings. That it’s so important to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. Let loved ones and friends help. Share the moment.” –Emily
“Make sure to enjoy every stage! It goes by quickly. I wish I was better at journaling and recording everything, because I have forgotten so many little things. Plus each kid wants to hear/read your special memories of their birth and toddler years.” –Jolene
“You need less baby stuff than you think, keep it simple.” –Shawna
“You won’t have any time after you have kids so don’t waste those years before kids. Go to school, travel, do whatever you really want to do and will regret putting off. I wish I knew how much time and energy is needed to care for a baby and how difficult it is to balance a baby with my personal and professional responsibilities.” –Sophia
“Exercise all the way through pregnancy. Be in shape before you get pregnant and then keep with it. Feed them more healthy food. Don’t get lazy and feed them processed crap because it’s easy. Also, read, read, read to them!” –Emma
”Let your husband help and never reprimand him for doing it wrong. Teach him. Otherwise he will feel like he can’t do it right, so he will leave it all for you to do. Talk a lot about household duties and how it will be shared. You shouldn’t be the maid, the cook, the parent, the planner, etc. You are raising this kid together and both people need personal time.” –Olivia
“I wish I had started some sort of Roth IRA or something to help invest in their future.” –Aubrey
“I wish I knew more about the physical changes that my body would go through during pregnancy AND after giving birth. The weight gain, stretch marks, swollen feet, hormonal changes, and the recovery process. There’s so much that happens that no one tells you.” –Hailey
“I wish I had known this: the world measures parenthood by how the kids turn out. I measure parenthood by how I turn out. Kids teach us… I would be less stressed about what I would pass on to my kids, I would listen to their wisdom more, observe them more and be more relaxed about motherhood earlier…” –Linda
“I was surprised by the extent of sleep deprivation that comes with having a baby. I wish I knew how exhausting it can be and how it affected my overall well-being. It can definitely be an emotional roller coaster, and lack of sleep doesn’t help with all the ups and downs that come with motherhood. It’s just really hard adjusting to a new role… really overwhelming.” –Kate
“Although I absolutely enjoyed it, breastfeeding comes with quite a few challenges and difficulties. I wish I knew more about struggling with low milk supply and what to do, latching problems and how to fix them. Not to mention the time commitment involved with breastfeeding. Hours and hours and hours of sucking.” –Avery
“I didn’t develop a very strong support system before having a baby. Whether it’s your partner, your family, friends, or even a community, this can be so important for this life-changing experience.” –Lori
“I wish I knew how important it is to prioritize self-care and take time for myself. Now I know how crucial it is for moms to prioritize their physical and mental well-being to be able to care for their baby effectively.” –Jessica
“I wish I was prepared for the parenting advice overload. It can often feel overwhelming as family, friends, and even strangers tell you what you should do. It’s good to consider, but I want other moms to know to trust their instincts and do what feels right for them and their baby.” –Sadie
Remember, every mom’s experience is unique, and what one mom wishes she knew may differ from another.
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