What No One Tells You About Postpartum

Yes, people tell you about how you have to wear diapers postpartum, that you might lose your hair, have problems with incontinence, and to watch for postpartum depression, but what are the things they might not mention? Here is what no one tells you about postpartum (or at least what no one told me).

Bringing a baby into the world is a magical thing. But there’s also a catch. Or two. Or three. Or a hundred.

I thought that I had heard all there was to be heard when it came to the word postpartum. During pregnancy, I had so many women talk to me about their experiences and what to expect. I read so many blogs and articles online to prepare myself for postpartum life, and somehow, there were still things that happened to me that took me by surprise.

*In case you didn’t know, I had a natural birth at home. Many of these things postpartum probably pertain more to a vaginal birth than a c-section, although a few might apply to a c-section.

There’s no way that my list will complete the ultimate postpartum list. There will most likely be something that you experience that you weren’t prepared for. But hopefully there’s a thing or two that you can add to the long list of possibilities on your postpartum journey. Remember, knowledge is power 😛

This post is all about what no one tells you about postpartum.

What No One Tells You About Postpartum

Postpartum itch

This was so random to me. After I had my baby, I developed these little bumps on my skin, specifically on my upper arms, my thighs, and stomach. And these little bumps were soooo itchy. They have a few names: postpartum hives, postpartum urticaria, or PUPPP.

PUPPP can happen while you are pregnant (it’s actually more common for pregnancy than it is postpartum), and it typically goes away after you deliver the baby.

For some reason, I didn’t get PUPPP until after I had my baby. And honestly, I just did my best not to scratch it and I’d put cold compresses on it. It went away within 3-4 weeks, but it was something I was unaware of.

Hemorrhoids

Welp. These are fun.

Not! 😛

I think I was in denial that I would ever get these. I had heard about how women get them during childbirth, but I always thought, “That won’t be me.”

It was 😂

So be aware that if you have a vaginal birth, it’s likely that you will experience these. Some women even get them during their third trimester. Don’t worry though, there are easy treatments that don’t involve you putting something in your bum 😉

Pooping after birth hurts for weeks

So. Everyone tells you how much it hurts to poo the first time postpartum, but no one tells you how much it hurts to poo the second time, and the third time, and the seventh time! Maybe it was because of hemorrhoids, but I was nervous to poo for weeks postpartum because it was still really uncomfortable for me. And I didn’t need stitches down there! My vaginal tears were only first degree tears, and I still felt like it was miserable to go to the bathroom for quite some time.

My advice? Don’t stop whatever method you are using to create soft stools. Whether that’s an actual stool softener, magnesium, or a shit ton of water and apple juice, keep doing it until you notice less discomfort in that area.

Peeing burns

Now that I’ve told you to prepare for all the poos, you need to know that peeing can potentially be just as dreadful.

Every single woman I had talked to told me to prepare for the first poo postpartum, but all of them failed to mention that peeing would make me want to cry.

I had more time than I thought I would with a newborn

My first baby was a fairly easy baby. He never experienced colic, thank goodness, and although he had his fair share of crying and there were many times I felt frustrated, he could have been worse. So I felt really lucky that way.

People always mentioned how busy I would be with a newborn, but I never really felt like it was. It wasn’t until my baby started having longer wake windows that things felt busier, which was around 3-4 months old.

I wish I would have known that NOT feeling busy could be a possibility, because I would have taken advantage of my time with my husband more. Going out with my newborn during those first 2-3 months would have been waaaay easier than 3-6 months, in my opinion. But because everyone told me that a newborn makes life really difficult, I kinda hunkered down and waited for it to become really busy. Doing so made me miss out of perfect opportunities to be with my husband before things really got busy months later.

Now, every baby is different, and maybe your baby is really difficult for the first 3 months, but then things get easier. Or maybe it’s always busy and never lets up. With a baby comes constant change. You will learn to adjust and enjoy the ride!

Just realize that if things seem too easy in the beginning, don’t wait for them to get harder and busier. Go out to dinner more with your spouse. Go on more dates. Take advantage of the time together, because eventually things will change, and before you know it, you haven’t been on a date in 5 years.

Nauseous touching my belly stretch mark scars

For some reason, touching my postpartum stretch marks on my stomach make me feel a little woozy. Haha! Sadly, I don’t have an explanation for this one. Let me know in the comments below if you know why this happens or if you experience this too!

Shortness of breath

I don’t know why, but I didn’t expect to be so out of breath after I had my baby. I thought that since I wasn’t pregnant anymore carrying around all that extra weight all the time, I would automatically breath normally. However, I still felt so out of breath doing little tasks during the first few weeks as I built up my strength again. Then my breathing got back to normal as I slowly introduced my body into exercising again.

*Shortness of breath postpartum can be a sign of an underlying issue. If you experience shortness of breath, reach out to your doctor, especially if it’s not getting better.

Clit pain

This one was horrible. And I haven’t met anyone who experienced the same thing and I haven’t found anything similar to it online, so maybe it’s just a Mica thing.

Whenever I would get turned on and aroused postpartum, my clit would hurt.

It was like a really intense throbbing/aching/makes-me-squirm-in-the-worst-way kind of pain.

I didn’t feel pain around there constantly and my clit didn’t burn when I’d pee or anything like that. Literally just when I was feeling a bit horny that my clit exploded with pain. It was like my body was saying, “Slow down, girlfriend, we don’t want another baby right now!” 😛

It was the most bizarre thing.

Body Odor

Jeez, I did not like the way I smelt postpartum! Especially with breastfeeding, it seemed like my body omitted this scent that was familiar to my baby, but it smelt like BO. I always felt like I smelled weird or stinky, so I would be sure to shower daily (which can seem tricky with a baby) and lather on all the yummy smells to combat it. But it’s totally normal!

Sweating

Get ready to sweat quite a bit after you have your baby.

Keep track of baby- diapers, naps, wake windows, your mood

This was something I did know before postpartum, but I’m not sure if other moms know, so I wanted to include it.

After you have your baby, you should keep track of everything that happens: when they nap, when they wake up, when they pee, when they poo, when they eat, how long they eat, how much they eat (if bottle feeding), your mood.

It is so hard to remember things as a new mom, so it is so helpful to write all of this down. It is great information to make sure that your baby is healthy and eating enough, and makes it easier to follow their sleepy cues, etc.

Whether it’s on paper or in the notes on your phone, keep track of as much as you can! I promise you’ll be glad you did, even though it’s a lot to write down.

A different kind of tired

Having a baby makes you so tired. But it’s a different type of tired that can’t ever be fixed 😛

Cramps and contractions

Your body experiences cramps and contractions during labor, but they forget to tell you that it continues throughout your postpartum journey as your uterus goes back to it’s original size. I especially noticed the cramping whenever I would breastfeed, which can be such a bummer because breastfeeding is already a really hard adjustment and can be painful in of itself. So to add the contractions is really such a delicious cherry on top!

Just remember, they don’t last forever.

Sleep when baby sleeps?

Hah! Everyone told me to sleep when my baby sleeps. And honestly, I tried to, and I did a few times when I was extra tired. But I just couldn’t do it all the time.

First of all, I just loved staring at my baby. I loved holding him while he slept and I loved cuddling him (I currently only have one baby, so I had the luxury of just being present with him, always). I didn’t want to sleep because I had fomo XD

Next, I am a doer. I love my daily planner, I love making lists, andI love checking things off. So if I wasn’t staring at my baby, I was doing the dishes, folding laundry, organizing something. I was not the first-time mom who put the house chores on the back-burner because that stresses me out WAY more. Personally,I need a clean house in order to feel like my mind is clear. I am a better mom this way.

Lastly, I just don’t like taking naps. Whenever I have tried to take a nap, I end up laying there thinking about all the other things I want to be doing. Like taking a walk outside if it’s a beautiful day, reading a new book, making bread, playing the piano, listening to a podcast, taking an online dance class, and more! My list of things I want to do in this life is long, and taking naps throughout the day makes me feel really unproductive.

So, if you are anything like me, don’t feel bad that you like to clean. Don’t feel bad that you want to take some time for yourself while your baby sleeps. And don’t feel bad if you DO want to nap while your baby naps.

Sleep deprivation=depression

Right after I had my baby, my midwife told me, “One of the biggest causes of postpartum depression is sleep deprivation.”

I have kept this in mind ever since. Whenever I’m starting to feel off and I notice that I’m more irritated or sad, I ask my husband to wake up with our baby or I go to bed early. I force myself to take a nap while my baby naps, even though I hate naps, or I call my mom to see if she can take over for a couple hours while I sleep.

And it has honestly been such an eye opener to be able to connect the two together and create awareness.

Put your pre-pregnancy clothing away

The weight you carry changes after you have a baby. If you used to carry more weight in your stomach before pregnancy, maybe now you carry it in your hips, and vice versa. So expecting to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothing can be a recipe for insecurities and self-destruction. I know it was for me.

So. Don’t torture yourself trying to fit into old clothing. Some people lose weight really fast, but honestly, many don’t. Realize that you’re allowed to get clothes that fit you NOW. It’s wonderful to have goals to lose the baby weight, but allow yourself to invest in a few items that fit your postpartum body and make you feel confident.

After having my baby, I was pretty adamant about not buying postpartum clothes (I did the same thing during pregnancy and I regret it 100%). I am a frugal person and felt like I could make it work with what I already had. And to tell you the truth, I felt incredibly ugly throughout my entire pregnancy and my postpartum period. My baby is now 14 months and I only recently gave in to buying a few new things that I. Absolutely. Love. and feel amazing in. And I said to myself, “Damn. Why didn’t I do this FOREVER ago?” Having clothes that fit you will help you feel so much better about yourself and accept the changes that your body has been through.

Breaks and exclusively breastfeeding don’t really exist

If you choose to exclusively breastfeed, be prepared to either breastfeed or pump every 2-3 hours. You don’t really get any breaks longer than that, otherwise your breasts will feel like they are going to explode. Even knowing this, I still would’ve chosen to breastfeed, but some mental preparation might have been helpful. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I never actually knew what that would look like.

If you breastfeed, you’re a milk machine 24/7

This goes along with the idea that you don’t get many breaks as a breastfeeding mom. I felt like a milk machine in the first 4-6 months of my baby’s life, and I felt a little under-appreciated. I mean, I know, I know… A baby can’t really tell you that they appreciate what you do for them all the time. But it’s nice when they start smiling at you on purpose and interacting with you. That’s when I started to feel more like a mom instead of a milk machine haha!

Learn about active sleep vs quiet sleep.

Learn to distinguish between active sleep, quiet sleep, and when your baby is actually awake. Newborn babies are loud sleepers. They grunt and moan and sometimes even open their eyes, all while they are still sleeping. When my baby was first born, I would rush to pick him up after every little sound he would make that sounded like he was about to start crying. Little did I know, I was probably picking him up too early, disturbing his sleep when I thought he was already awake. As a new mom, I didn’t realize that active sleep was a thing. All I needed to do was wait a little longer.

Wait to pick up your baby in order to find out what state of consciousness they are in.

The love

Okay. I know people try to tell you how much you will love your baby, but there is no way for you to truly grasp this and understand this until after your have your baby. It. Is. Unreal. And I can’t wait for you to experience it.

What No One Tells You About Postpartum